Hi there, I am a senior product manager with 9+ years of experience in B2B & B2C product development mainly in fashion & retail industries. I have consultancy and product management background. Seasoned in cross functional stakeholder management and driving product ideation into impact. If you are an aspiring product manager or looking for tips to master in product management, I would be happy to share my experience to help you achieve your goals! Originally from Istanbul, Turkey and located in Berlin more than 5 years and love it!

My Mentoring Topics

  • Product Management
  • Product Strategy
  • Product Discovery
  • Product Management in B2B products
  • Cross functional stakeholder management
  • Nonviolent communication
  • Conflict Resolution
  • Transition into Product Management
M.
16.April 2023

I had a smooth and productive dialogue with Ilksu. She attentively listened to my questions and provided insightful answers. I am looking forward to continuing our communication and working together to achieve our goals

Never Split the Difference - Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
Chris Voss, Tahl Raz

Key Insights from the Book: The principle of tactical empathy: Understand and recognize the emotions of your counterpart and respond to them in a thoughtful manner. The power of mirroring: Imitate the language and behavior of your counterpart to build rapport and trust. The effectiveness of calibrated questions: Ask questions that allow your counterpart to have control, but steer the conversation towards your desired outcome. The significance of active listening: Listen carefully to what your counterpart is saying and respond accordingly. The role of patience: Give your counterpart time to respond and don’t rush them into making a decision. The importance of a "no": Getting a 'no' is not a failure, but rather an opportunity to understand your counterpart's fears and concerns. The “Ackerman Model”: A strategic bargaining method developed in the FBI, which involves setting a target price, then using a series of calculated offers and conciliatory gestures to reach it. The concept of "Black Swans": Unforeseen events or pieces of information that can dramatically impact the outcome of a negotiation. The value of loss aversion: People are more motivated to avoid losses than to achieve equivalent gains. The utility of "that's right": Getting your counterpart to say "That's right" instead of "You're right," ensures they feel understood and agree with your viewpoint. The "7-38-55 Percent Rule": In communication, 7% of a message is derived from the words, 38% from the tone of voice, and 55% from body language and facial expressions. An In-Depth Analysis of the Book "Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss and Tahl Raz is a compelling exploration into the art of negotiation. Drawing from his experience as a former FBI hostage negotiator, Voss provides readers with practical techniques to improve their negotiation skills. Understanding and Using Tactical Empathy Tactical empathy is at the heart of successful negotiation. It revolves around understanding and acknowledging the feelings and mindset of your counterpart. By doing so, you can navigate the negotiation process more effectively and achieve favourable outcomes. As a negotiator, it's not enough to understand what the other party wants; you must also comprehend how they feel. This emotional intelligence enables you to build a connection and establish mutual trust, increasing the likelihood of a successful negotiation. Mirroring, Calibrated Questions and Active Listening Voss also highlights the importance of mirroring, calibrated questions, and active listening. Mirroring, which involves imitating your counterpart's language and behaviour, can foster a sense of familiarity and rapport. Calibrated questions, on the other hand, allow you to steer the conversation without appearing aggressive or domineering. These questions typically start with "what" or "how," prompting your counterpart to think deeply and contribute valuable information to the discussion. Active listening is equally crucial. By paying close attention to your counterpart's words, you can identify underlying concerns or interests that may be key to the negotiation. This also signals respect and sincerity, strengthening your relationship with the counterpart. The Value of Patience and the Power of 'No' Patience is a virtue in negotiation. Voss emphasizes the importance of allowing your counterpart sufficient time to respond. A hurried negotiation is unlikely to yield optimal results. Moreover, contrary to common belief, receiving a 'no' from your counterpart is not necessarily a setback. Instead, it can serve as a stepping stone to understanding their fears and concerns better. It gives you the opportunity to address those issues and make a more persuasive case. The Ackerman Model and the Concept of Black Swans The Ackerman model is a bargaining method that involves setting a target price, then using a series of calculated offers and conciliatory gestures to reach it. This method, which requires patience and strategic thinking, can be highly effective in achieving your desired outcome. Voss also introduces the concept of 'Black Swans' – unexpected events or pieces of information that can dramatically alter the negotiation landscape. Identifying potential Black Swans and preparing for them can give you a significant advantage. Loss Aversion, 'That's Right' and the 7-38-55 Percent Rule The book also delves into the psychology of negotiation, discussing concepts like loss aversion and the power of the words 'That's right'. People are typically more motivated to avoid losses than to achieve equivalent gains, and this can be leveraged in negotiation. Getting your counterpart to say 'That's right' instead of 'You're right' ensures they feel understood and agree with your viewpoint. The former indicates genuine agreement, while the latter often signals appeasement. Lastly, Voss presents the "7-38-55 Percent Rule," a principle that underscores the importance of non-verbal communication. It posits that only 7% of a message is derived from words, while 38% comes from the tone of voice, and 55% from body language and facial expressions. In conclusion, "Never Split the Difference" offers a wealth of practical strategies and psychological insights for effective negotiation. It challenges traditional notions, encouraging readers to perceive negotiation through a different lens. Whether it's in a professional context or everyday life, these techniques can undoubtedly enhance your ability to negotiate successfully.

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Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life - Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships
Marshall B. Rosenberg, Deepak Chopra

Key Facts and Insights from the Book Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a process that facilitates understanding and empathy between individuals. NVC focuses on human needs and feelings rather than judgments and accusations. It involves four key steps: observation, feelings, needs, and requests. NVC encourages empathetic listening and honest expression. NVC can be applied in various contexts and relationships, including personal, professional, and social. Conflict resolution is a significant application of NVC. It helps in transforming conflicts into mutually satisfying outcomes. NVC is an effective tool to promote peaceful interactions and healthy relationships. NVC promotes self-empathy and compassionate giving. NVC helps in overcoming cultural conditioning and promotes genuine human connections. It encourages personal growth and emotional healing. NVC is a powerful tool in educational settings for fostering effective communication and understanding. In-Depth Analysis and Summary "Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life - Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships" by Marshall B. Rosenberg is a highly insightful book that presents a transformative approach to communication. It introduces the concept of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), a process rooted in principles of nonviolence and compassion. Rosenberg's work is underpinned by the belief that all human beings have the capacity for compassion and empathy, and that conflicts arise when strategies for meeting needs clash. NVC is not just a method of communication; it's an approach to living that cultivates respect, attentiveness, and empathy. It is a four-step process involving observation, feelings, needs, and requests. The first step, observation, involves stating what we are observing that is affecting our sense of wellbeing. The next step, feelings, involves sharing our feelings in relation to what we observe. The third step, needs, is about communicating what needs, values, or desires are causing our feelings. Finally, the request step involves making a clear, concrete request for action to meet our expressed needs. The book emphasizes that NVC is about empathetic listening and honest expression. It encourages us to listen empathetically to others and express ourselves honestly, without blame or criticism. This approach allows for a deeper understanding and connection between individuals, fostering healthier relationships. One of the significant applications of NVC, as Rosenberg points out, is conflict resolution. By focusing on the underlying needs and feelings instead of accusations and judgments, NVC can transform conflicts into mutually satisfying outcomes. Whether it's a personal disagreement, a workplace conflict, or even a social or political dispute, NVC provides a framework for peaceful resolution. NVC also promotes self-empathy and compassionate giving. It helps individuals to connect with their own feelings and needs, fostering self-understanding and personal growth. At the same time, it encourages compassionate giving, where we respond to the needs of others not out of obligation, but out of a genuine desire to contribute to their well-being. Rosenberg's work is particularly relevant in today's world, where communication often gets mired in misunderstandings and conflict. NVC offers a way to overcome our cultural conditioning that promotes competitive and judgmental interactions, and instead, cultivate genuine human connections. Conclusion "Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life - Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships" by Marshall B. Rosenberg is a powerful guide to promoting understanding, empathy, and compassion in our interactions. By shifting our focus from judgments and accusations to feelings and needs, NVC enables us to build healthier, more satisfying relationships. It is an invaluable tool for personal growth, emotional healing, and peaceful interactions in various contexts, including personal, professional, educational, and social. Whether you're seeking to improve your personal relationships, resolve conflicts, or simply communicate more effectively, this book offers profound insights and practical tools to guide you.

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Radical Candor - How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean
Kim Scott

Key Insights from the Book: The importance of Radical Candor - a management philosophy that encourages open, honest, and direct communication. The two dimensions of Radical Candor: Care Personally and Challenge Directly. How to avoid the pitfalls of Obnoxious Aggression, Manipulative Insincerity, and Ruinous Empathy. The importance of giving and receiving feedback effectively. How to encourage a culture of open communication in the workplace. Practical strategies to implement Radical Candor in real-life situations. The role of empathy and understanding in fostering Radical Candor. How Radical Candor helps in building strong relationships at work. The significance of emotional intelligence in implementing Radical Candor. The benefits of Radical Candor for personal growth and professional development. An In-Depth Analysis of "Radical Candor" Author Kim Scott's "Radical Candor" is an insightful exploration of a management philosophy that encourages open, honest, and direct communication. Scott, a veteran of Google and Apple, has distilled years of leadership experience into this philosophy, which she believes can revolutionize the way we lead and work. The core principle of Radical Candor revolves around two dimensions: Care Personally and Challenge Directly. As a leader, it is pivotal to demonstrate that you genuinely care about your team members as individuals. However, it's equally important to challenge them directly and offer constructive criticism to help them grow. The book warns against the pitfalls of three ineffective communication styles: Obnoxious Aggression, Manipulative Insincerity, and Ruinous Empathy. Obnoxious Aggression is characterized by direct feedback that lacks empathy. Manipulative Insincerity is when feedback is neither caring nor direct, often resulting in dishonesty and deceit. Ruinous Empathy, perhaps the most common pitfall, happens when leaders care about their employees but are unwilling to provide direct feedback for fear of upsetting them. Scott emphasizes the importance of giving and receiving feedback effectively. Feedback should be immediate, face-to-face, and must offer a clear path for improvement. Moreover, it should be a two-way street - leaders should also be open to receiving feedback from their teams. The book offers practical strategies to implement Radical Candor in real-life situations. These strategies are crafted to help leaders adopt Radical Candor without falling into the traps of the ineffective communication styles mentioned earlier. It also underscores the role of empathy and understanding in fostering Radical Candor, highlighting the significance of emotional intelligence in implementing this philosophy. Scott asserts that Radical Candor can help in building strong relationships at work. By fostering open communication, it can create a positive work environment where everyone feels valued, heard, and motivated. Furthermore, Radical Candor can lead to personal growth and professional development. It encourages individuals to be more self-aware, fosters continuous learning, and promotes a growth mindset. In conclusion, "Radical Candor" presents a compelling case for a management approach that prioritizes open, honest, and direct communication. By incorporating Radical Candor into our leadership styles, we can foster a more positive, productive, and rewarding work environment.

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The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People - Restoring the Character Ethic
Stephen R. Covey

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: A Comprehensive Review and Analysis Key Insights: Importance of proactive behavior and taking responsibility for one's own life. Starting with the end in mind as a way to set clear and achievable goals. Prioritizing tasks based on their importance rather than their urgency. Thinking win-win, or seeking mutually beneficial solutions in all interactions. Understanding before being understood as a way to build effective communication. Synergizing, or combining the strengths of people through teamwork, to achieve goals that can't be achieved individually. Sharpening the saw, or seeking continuous improvement and renewal professionally and personally. The underlying principle of character ethic as a timeless guide for effective living. The power of paradigm shift in shaping our perceptions and behaviors. The role of personal and public victories in achieving effectiveness. The concept of emotional bank account as a measure of trust in relationships. The In-depth Review and Analysis "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: Restoring the Character Ethic" is a profound work by Stephen R. Covey that offers a holistic approach for solving personal and professional problems. The book presents a principle-centered approach for both life and work that applies to everything from personal relationships to business and management challenges. Proactivity is the first habit that Covey discusses. Proactive individuals recognize that they are "response-able," that they have the ability to choose their response to a given situation. This notion of responsibility and choice is fundamental to understanding the subsequent habits and is crucial to achieving effectiveness. Beginning with the end in mind, the second habit, is about setting long-term goals based on "true north" principles. This habit involves personal leadership, leading oneself towards what one considers worthwhile and consistent with one's values. It also involves creating a personal mission statement. The third habit, putting first things first, is about setting priorities. Covey reminds us that the most effective people live their lives by the principle of managing tasks based on their level of importance, not urgency, which leads to personal effectiveness and control over our own lives. The fourth habit, thinking win-win, is not about being nice nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration. This is about seeking mutually beneficial solutions or agreements in our relationships, which leads to sustainable success. Seeking to understand before being understood, the fifth habit, is about empathic communication. It's about listening with the intent to understand, both intellectually and emotionally. This practice paves the way for open and honest communication, leading to deeper relationships and more effective problem-solving. The sixth habit, synergizing, is the collective realization of habits 4 and 5. It's about valuing and celebrating differences to create a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts. It is about teamwork and open-mindedness, leading to innovative solutions. Finally, sharpening the saw is about self-renewal and self-care. It's about regularly renewing and strengthening the four dimensions of our nature - physical, mental, social/emotional, and spiritual. This habit makes all the other habits possible. In essence, the seven habits are not quick-fix solutions, but are habits that need to be cultivated and developed over time. They are about moving from dependence to independence (private victories: habits 1-3) and from independence to interdependence (public victories: habits 4-6), with continuous improvement and renewal (habit 7) as a sustaining force. The book also introduces the concept of paradigm shift and how our perceptions influence our thinking and behavior. It encourages us to shift our paradigms to align with the principles that will enable us to become more effective. The character ethic, as opposed to personality ethic, is another central theme in the book. Covey argues that the character ethic is a more sustainable and ethical guide for living effectively. It involves traits like integrity, humility, fidelity, courage, justice, patience, and simplicity. Finally, the concept of the emotional bank account is a powerful metaphor that describes the amount of trust that’s been built up in a relationship. It reminds us to make regular deposits of kindness, honesty, and keeping commitments to build and maintain healthy relationships. In conclusion, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" is more than a self-help book. It's a guide to personal and professional effectiveness, offering a blueprint for living based on enduring principles and providing the knowledge and tools to apply these principles to lead a balanced, integrated, and effective life.

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