Communicating with Your Mentor
Strong communication between sessions keeps momentum going and helps you get the most from your mentorship. Learn when and how to message your mentor effectively.
When to Message Your Mentor
✓ Good Reasons to Message
- • Sharing progress updates on action items from your last session
- • Asking for clarification on advice they gave
- • Scheduling or rescheduling a session
- • Sharing wins or milestones ("I got the job!")
- • Sending materials before your next session (resume, code, etc.)
- • Quick questions that unblock you (under 2 minutes to answer)
⚠ Save for Sessions
- • Complex questions that need discussion
- • Problems that require screen sharing or live debugging
- • Topics that need 10+ minutes to explain
- • Vague "what should I do?" questions without context
- • Multiple unrelated questions at once
✗ Don't Message For
- • Free consulting outside of paid sessions
- • Homework help or code debugging (unless discussed)
- • General advice easily found via Google
- • Urgent help at odd hours (respect boundaries)
- • Daily check-ins or constant updates
Pro Tip: The "Can This Wait?" Test
Before sending a message, ask: "Can this wait until our next session?" If yes, add it to your session agenda instead. If no, make sure it's truly urgent and clearly stated.
Writing Effective Messages
The Message Formula
1. Start with context (1-2 sentences)
Remind them where you left off:
"Hi Sarah! Following up on our session last week where we discussed my transition into product management..."
2. State your purpose clearly
Be specific about what you need:
"I'm applying to the PM role at Company X and want to know if you'd be willing to do a mock interview next week."
3. Include relevant details (if applicable)
Give them what they need to respond:
"The interview is in 2 weeks, so I'm hoping we could meet this week. I'm available Tuesday evening or Saturday morning."
4. End with a clear ask or next step
Make it easy to respond:
"Let me know if either of those times work for you, or if you have other availability this week!"
Good vs. Bad Messages
❌ Bad Message:
"Hey, how are you? I have some questions about the stuff we talked about. Can you help? When are you free?"
Too vague, no context, unclear what "stuff" means, asks mentor to do all the work.
✓ Good Message:
"Hi Alex! In our last session, you recommended I refactor my authentication code to use JWT tokens. I implemented it and ran into an issue with token refresh—the refresh token expires before being used. I've tried X and Y but still getting the same error. Could we discuss this in our next session? I'm available Wed 6pm or Sat 10am."
Specific context, clear problem, shows effort, proposes solution (session), offers times.
Response Time Expectations
Your mentor has a life outside of mentoring. Here's what's reasonable:
24-48 hours is normal
Most mentors respond within 1-2 days. They may check messages on specific days.
Don't double-message immediately
Wait at least 48 hours before following up. They likely saw your message and will respond when they can.
Weekends may be slower
Many mentors don't check messages on weekends. Messages sent Friday evening might not get responses until Monday.
Some mentors set boundaries
They might say "I check messages Tuesdays and Thursdays only" or "I don't offer between-session support." Respect these boundaries.
If You Need Immediate Help
Mentors are not on-call support. If you need urgent help, use Stack Overflow, Discord communities, or book an emergency session. Don't expect instant responses via messaging.
Sharing Progress Updates
Mentors love seeing you implement their advice. Share wins and milestones:
Progress Updates They'll Love
- • "I implemented your suggestion and here's what happened..." (shows you took action)
- • "Update: I got an interview at Company X!" (shares wins)
- • "The refactoring you recommended cut load time by 40%" (quantifies impact)
- • "I tried approach A from our session, but ran into issue B. Planning to try C next." (shows problem-solving)
Example Progress Update
"Hi Maria! Quick update: I applied your feedback on my portfolio site—added the case studies section with the problem/solution format you suggested. Already got two recruiters reach out this week! Thanks for pushing me to showcase my thinking process, not just the final product. Looking forward to our session next week to discuss next steps."
Pro Tip: The 1-1 Rule
For every action item from a session, send at least one update before your next session. This shows accountability and keeps momentum going.
Communication Best Practices
✓ Do This
- • Keep messages focused on one topic
- • Use proper grammar and punctuation
- • Be respectful of their time
- • Show you tried to solve it first
- • Thank them for their input
- • Follow through on commitments
✗ Avoid This
- • Sending messages at 2am expecting replies
- • Using text speak or all lowercase
- • Asking questions answered in last session
- • Being pushy about response time
- • Treating them like Google
- • Ignoring their availability boundaries
Related Guides
Need Communication Tips?
Having trouble connecting with your mentor? Our support team can help mediate or provide guidance.
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